Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

He’ll do.

Posted by AllieB on November 22, 2010

I like celeb news to the point of obsession as much as the next person, but this Prince William and Kate Middleton engagement is quickly becoming a real interest of mine. There’s been talk of an intervention, but I think that’s way too premature – my fascination with all things Kate and wondering what her wedding dress is going to look like and trying to channel her in my everyday life is completely under control.

That said, I’ve decided that maybe I, too, should become engaged to a Prince. I found this blog about the most eligible bachelors in the world, and I’ve zeroed in on Prince Carl Phillip of Sweden. He loves racing cars and studied graphic design at RISD. And he’s hot. Helloooooo, Prince Carl! <shoulder dip, head toss>

source: Glo

Plus, not only have I read all three books in the Stieg Larsson trilogy, but I’ve also gotten really into the Swedish-made films, so Carl and I would totally have a ton to talk about…this is really coming together nicely…! Princess Alexandra. Loves it.

Ok, fine.

Dennis: As a matter of fact I’m starting to think think we need to intervene on you for your illiteracy.

Dee: Yeah, Charlie, you are getting real dumb.

Charlie: Come on, alright, this is what I’m talking about. Illiteracy. You know, what does that word even mean?

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Make Someone Uncomfortable Day

Posted by AllieB on November 18, 2010

Fortunately, this is real. Tomorrow, November 19, is the 3rd Annual Make Someone Uncomfortable Day. I’m writing about it today so we all have time to prepare for what awkwardness we might inflict upon our nearest and dearest. There are many people I know whose sheer existence on the planet makes me uncomfortable, so they’re all set – for those of us with slightly more adroit social skillz, here are some ideas from the Facebook page devoted to this noteworthy occasion…(source: sf.funcheap.com, credit: Leila)

It seems that people are posting how they plan to celebrate MSUD on this FB page. The first one I saw distresses me greatly.

I’m going to breastfeed in public:-)

Unless it is Apocalypse Day, that is unacceptable.  Pardon my tirade, but BREAST FEEDING IN PUBLIC IS NOT, NOR WILL IT EVER BE, OKAY. I do not understand why people do not understand this. Sorry – next:

this is funny because tomorrow is also diversity day at our school

Ok, that made me feel uncomfortable….

when you go grocery shopping, instead of shopping from the shelves, start shopping from other peoples shopping carts while they are looking on the shelves. make sure you are in a busy aisle with people looking…

That’s actually kind of funny, and it also goes along nicely with my Grocery Store Shame.

If I had an extra $5k to drop, I would buy this large structured fur headdress because it obviously makes people uncomfortable – both wearer and viewer, apparently. I seriously have not stopped laughing since Bailey sent it to me earlier. What the WHAT is that thing!?

from: SSENSE.COM

ATTN: Mary Cath – given your low threshold for awkwardness, perhaps you should consider staying home. Pal – you could probably be the face of Make Someone Uncomfortable Day – I’ll see if I can nominate you or something. Buff – if you’re looking for an idea as to how you might make people feel awkward, consider doing a split in public; it worked like a charm last Saturday. Leila – it is fitting on many, many levels that you are the one who informed us of MSUD. Thank you for being you.

BOLO for bumbling, bungling encounters…!

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Mind Your P’s and Q’s

Posted by AllieB on November 17, 2010

I’ll be the first one to say it – my manners are not impeccable. No need to expound further, but my day to day behavior, particularly at the dinner table, leaves much to be desired. Obviously, when in a more formal setting I am perfectly capable of being the consummate dining companion, not unlike a princess, even (damn you Kate Middleton), it’s just not my default…

Anyway, regardless of my own flaws, I am easily irked by the inappropriate/unacceptable manners of others. Here are things I do not prefer:

  • Smacking. I know – pot, kettle, black – but I’ve gotten lots better and am now truly disgusted by those who do. As a babysitter, I feel it is important to correct the errant ways of children and did so just the other evening. Grace, a precocious seven-year-old girl, was smacking her food so loudly that I had to speak sternly to her about how unattractive it was and that she really ought to stop. She looked at me squarely in the eye and spoke sternly to me about saying “like, yeah” so much – “you don’t sound like you know what you’re talking about,” she said. I then suggested we call it a draw; she agreed, and we shook on it. Touché. Me and Dee Reynolds – shaping the minds of America’s Youth.
  • Slouching. Sit up straight – you’ll look five pounds thinner. If that’s not reason enough, then I can’t help you.
  • To the waiter who wants to bond with the table and goes so far as to scoot into the booth: please don’t. I’m all about building rapport, but if we wanted to sit with you at dinner we would have invited you to join us at dinner. I find it very unsettling to suddenly be touching thighs with a stranger as they take my order…it happened at Tavern 99, and the waiter in question was adorned in the never-not-classy Sexy Referee Uniform. Boundaries.
  • Slurping. Akin to smacking, this is a wholly unappetizing thing to do at the table. I’m starting to feel a bit like Seinfeld…
  • Eating wings in public (Pants, Billy, Dallas, BP – I’m talkin to you).

I think one of my New Year’s Resolutions will be to adjust my behavior to that of a princess every day, formal occasion or no. I bet menfolk will find that more appealing, not to mention the friends and family with whom I frequently enjoy meals.

Dear Mom,

This Thanksgiving I promise to do none of the above.

Your loving daughter,

(Princess) Alexandra

(Source: whatupwithtthat)

Posted in Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

:|

Posted by AllieB on November 16, 2010

Boobs Legsly got the cover!? How infuriating. I suppose she’s earned it, though – if by “best dressed” they mean “breast dressed.”

(Zing!)

Posted in Celebs | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

(Not So) Terrible Tuesday

Posted by AllieB on November 16, 2010

Meet & Greet: Optimistic Allie*. She’s usually around, and if she’s not she’ll be back soon. Case in point: it’s raining, it’s cold, and it’s Tuesday (newsflash: I don’t prefer Tuesdays)  yet here I am, warm and cozy in my office, day dreaming about things that I am looking forward to. I know – I amaze even myself. One thing that is helping, admittedly, is the imminent arrival of Papa John’s…

Annnyway, there’s lots coming up to look forward to – holiday parties, holiday food, holiday guests, holiday decor, holiday songs….! I share with you a few other things worthy of note that have bolstered my spirits. I’m telling you – there’s never not light at the end of the tunnel…even if that tunnel is Tuesday.

Numero Uno: Girl Talk! Friday, January 21, 2011 at The Tabernacle. GT was last in ATL back in Nov 2k08, we had a really awesome time, and that was on a Thursday – just think of the times we will have on a Friday…plus, the new album dropped yesterday, and it’s awesome – based on the snippets I’ve heard. I will download in full this egning.

Numero Dos: my family reunites for T-giving and Christmas…! It’s a triumphant return for Jordan, U of R’s reigning Homecoming Queen, and Charlotte, dominator of the Miami Half-IronMan Triathlon, and for Missy, Labrador puppy age 11 years (waaah!) going on 2.

Numero Tres: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I, premiers this Friday, November 19. The previews look awesome, and despite the fact that the reviews are not, I can’t wait to see it.

Numero Cuatro: A Serve Reunion in NYC….? Stay tuned.

Numero Cinco:  Supper Club, pay day, A & K’s Holiday Hoop-la…

(I’d like to mention that, since I started writing this, the sun has come out. This could be a coincidence, but I’m guessing not.)

Bonus Numero Seis: Tripod puppies unite!! Filmed at Casa di Dabs – LL – Leila, this is really freaking adorable…your heart might burst.

*in light of my rather aggressive tirade on Jessica Simpson yesterday, I thought I’d better take it down a notch. I’d say this is a significant, not to mention admirable, attitude adjustment…but sometimes it’s nice to also to think about things you’re looking forward to – kinda like the whole thing about listing things you’re thankful for…ok, this is pretty redundant. Whatevs.

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