Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘flat face’

I don’t wanna

Posted by AllieB on August 2, 2011

I am not feeling the blogosphere this week – not at all, whatsoever.

Yesterday was National Girlfriend’s Day. I started to write something about that, but it got real lame real fast, so I quit. Luckily, it never got this lame….all of these things are cringe-inducing, even the part about the Titanic because that was 100 years ago and it’s time to let it go. Besides, I think we can all agree that Rose, there was definitely room on that board for Jack. MOVE THE F OVER.

Blake and Leo were photographed bike riding together in NYC. Dweebs.

I don’t know what my deal is…things have been going so well. Maybe it’s that August is such a blah month. I think the French have nailed it – they take the whole month off. When we were there last summer we found nary a single patisserie that was open. Well, BBT is no patisserie (newsflash!), but I’m thinking I might follow suit. Souper Jenny did…why can’t BBT?? Potato/potatto (potato/vodka).

Maybe I just need some green tea lemonade from Starbucks.

Oh, this helps: Ron Swanson paraphenalia. I can’t spell that word. Paraphenelia. Paraphernalia. There we are. Huh – I did not see that second “r” coming.

I realize this is a lot like my random links Fridays, and I honestly don’t give a crap. It’s used, but you’ll take it.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

He’s like a conversational wizard

Posted by AllieB on June 14, 2011

I have no intention of commenting on this subject habitually, so just this one thing and then I’m done. I promise. And I know that promise is legit because my ADHD does not allow for two hours of television viewing (unless it’s a Sunday), and, let’s face it: these people have absolutely nothing in common with William and Kate.

The Bachelorette. What the crap, it’s even worse than usual. Ashley and her suitors have already taken their product international, and the scenery is about the only thing worth watching. Instead of excruciating dialogue and nonstop lameness, I expect they would do a lot better with ratings/feedback if they just did a montage of the Thailand landscape with a final snapshot at the end that shows who got a rose. Bentley, one contestant who proved he hates women and is totally batsh*t bonkers, was pretty interesting last week – sadly, it did make for good TV, but he belongs on Dr. Phil or Dr. Drew – NOT the Bachelorette. Soundbites from the episode:

“I mean that just sounds terrible,” Bentley told the camera. “I would literally rather be swimming in pee than planning a wedding with her, because I’m not thinking, ‘Oh my gosh this is the girl of my dreams.’ I’m thinking she’s not my type.”

“Wow, that was kind of boring,” he said after their kiss. “It started out good, but it sucked toward the end. I’d be lying to everyone if I was like ‘I’m in this to the end. I’m gonna ride this out for two months.’ There is no way I’m gonna last that long.”

Was that really necessary. Considerate and classy – I think we’ve found the next Bachelor?? What a dreamboat. In the scenes for next week (I didn’t watch the whole episode, I just had it on in the background and I found myself paying attention sometimes, is all) it seems that Bentley travels to Thailand and wants to talk to Ashley. Ashley, for the record, earns zero sympathy points because she’s so annoying and….OK I have to stop, this is becoming word vomit. No mas.

In addition to my little sista’s bday it is also: Flag Day – I do love the stars & bars – and Yasmine Bleeth’s birthday. Whatever happened to Yasmine?

Aaaand here’s Tex’s Tacos schedule for the week. OH YEAH! Thanks to their awesome food, friendly service, and internet-savvy fans, Tex’s WON Best Food Truck in ATL! Y’all are the heat – check them out over on Howell Mill tonight.

LIKE BBT ON FACEBOOK! May I direct you to the upper right-hand corner of your page, where you will see brand new Facebook/Twitter badges…prettaaaay nice, no? After I get paid this week, I will figure out some sort of prize for a fan…

BOLO for mas info.

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Topsy Turvy

Posted by AllieB on June 8, 2011

I woke up upside down in my bed this morning. That’s the first time I’ve ever done that…is that weird? I’m somewhat perplexed.

The sexting in this country has really gotten out of hand. First of all, if your last name is Weiner…well if your last name is Weiner and you’re a dude AND you’re an elected official often in the public eye, you should assume that if/when you decide to send an explicit photo of yourself, you will get caught. That’s just how that works. The Average Joe/Josephine might not be at such great risk for national exploitation, but it’s still good to exercise caution. If you insist upon getting freakay with your phone and sending X-rated pics via text, here are some tips:

– Use the “sepia” setting on your digital camera. If someone leaks the photos, you can say, “What? Don’t be crazy. These photos were clearly taken in the past.”

– Instead of a photo, send a scanned PDF of an erotic drawing of yourself…As an added security precaution, don’t be famous, work for the government, be an ordained religious leader, or ask a Kinko’s employee to scan the your drawing.

for more ideas like these: Safe Sexting

Or, you know, just don’t do it. Wisdom: imparted.

Did you know that the symbol of Atlanta is the Phoenix? I did not know this until yesterday – I was at the Atlanta History Center learning about Atlanta through the years, and the informational video mentioned it. How Hogwarts-y of us. I think it’s relative to the fact that Atlanta kept burning down but would always make a comeback, rising from the ashes even better than before. I guess we’re pretty scrappy, but I already knew that. It does, however, make me wonder what brainiac came up with Izzy as Atlanta’s mascot for the 1996 Olympics – how  come no one worked the whole Phoenix angle? Izzy literally has a stream of stars coming out of its butt. It’s embarrassing.

I need an iphone. The green-eyed monster is taking over and I can’t even be happy for those who have recently acquired them, switching over from their crapass Blackberrys. Char, K – I can’t even fake enthusiasm, I have only the flattest of faces for you both. And, just when I thought I was coming to terms with my iphone-less existence, I found these Jonathan Adler covers on shopbop. Does Jonathan Adler make covers for Blackberrys? What do you think. If I were a bigger person I’d get you one for your birthday, K. Unfortunately for you, I am not.

Despite the heat, I cannot switch over from my beloved red vino to my once beloved Sauv Blanc. I mean, I can go for a nice spritzer during brunch (that was nice the other day, wasn’t it E & Buff? Nobilo is good stuff), but when I’m hanging around at night, I just can’t bring myself to sip on it. Instead, I’ve taken to chilling my reds. I was goog’ing some drinks that included cold red wine, and I found this NYTimes article which not only condones, but heralds the practice of chilling your red. It’s nice to be validated. (This could be a good alternative to chunking cubes of ice in your glass, Sis – classy though that looks…(I’ve definitely never done that before, and I certainly didn’t do it just last night.))

I spy something….AWESOME. I like you every day, Leila, but on the days my VF comes, I like you a LOT. Talk about a gift that keeps on giving…

If you need me I’ll be on the couch with my chilled Pinot.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

Nom nom nom nom nom

Posted by AllieB on May 17, 2011

There’s a Food Truck Extravaganza at Souper Jenny tonight. At first I kept seeing that it was Top Secret, but people have been Tweeting about it and posting it on Facebook, so I think the cat’s out of the bag. YumbiiTex’s Tacos…Souper J…it’s a win/win/win.

Me, I will have: spicy pulled pork quesadilla from Yumbii, a carne asada taco from Tex’s, and…yeah, that sounds good. Oh. I just saw that Souper Jenny is serving up a smoked gouda and bacon pimento cheese panini…christ on a cracker, it’s BATHING SUIT SEASON PEOPLE. You are not helping.

Freaking Tuesdays.

I love poetry, and a glass of scotch, and, of course, my friend Baxter here.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »


Posted by AllieB on May 16, 2011

Are you watching Parks & Recreation? If you’re not, start right now, immed. If you’re a Comcast subscriber, you are mostly unlucky, but happily lucky in that they are showing the last four episodes OnDemand so you can catch up that way, or watch them online. It’s a really funny show. I don’t even have a cast favorite, because every episode I have a new favorite. Everyone is reliably entertaining, and the story lines are obscure yet totally plausible. The gentleman on the right is Ron Swanson – you want to get to know Ron Swanson. Just watch it. BBT says: do it.

Ok, so this guy Alan Sailer is an engineer who takes pictures of things exploding: veggies, ornaments filled with gelatin, crayons…. to make the items explodes, he shoots them with a gun – this raspberry didn’t stand a chance: (source:

Here’s his Flickr page. I’ve never seen anything like this before, and if you do one thing today that is purely for your own gratuitous entertainment, go to there. These are some sick pictures.

Did you notice the pink and blue flat face icon on the Baxter Bark Twice tab of your browser!? I’m so proud of it. That’s what I spent Friday doing. Flat.Face.

In other news: I saw Bridesmaids. It’s funny and worth the 10 bones. Tommy Hansen was out on Saturday night…I did not prefer his attitude. Last but definitely not least, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to STANTON!! Without you, I’m not sure there would even be a BBT, and then where would we be….XOXO

Good day.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »