Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘Facebook’

You’re Doing It Wrong

Posted by AllieB on May 1, 2014

There are a million articles floating around the internet about the do’s and don’ts of social media, but there aren’t any by me, personally, talking about you, specifically, so…here we go.


-For me, the most egregious of all Instaffenses (Instagram + offenses = Instaffenses) is posting several pictures in a row. The one exception is if you’re traveling in some remote place and only have access to Wi-Fi sparingly, but even then I encourage you to exercise some restraint. I promise you’ll get more likes if you post singularly rather than in multiples, and likes, obviously, are the only reason why anyone posts anything. I get really mad when people clog up my feed. What’s that – you just lost a follower? It was me.

-#youcantpunctuatehashtags and only a special few can hashtag emoji…

hashtag wine

-Use your head: the same group of people need not post the same picture on each of their respective accounts at the same time. I can assure you we don’t need to see the Birthday Dinner table shot more than once, and we probably could do w/o it in the first place. Just because it’s not on Instagram doesn’t mean it didn’t happen…

-No, wait: the absolute WORST Instaffense is when people put up a solo picture that someone else took and call it a selfie. NEWSFLASH it is not a SELF-ie if someone else takes it. Then it’s just you “candidly” posing while your poor friend takes a picture over and over til you deem it postable. I don’t mind selfies, and I don’t mind if you have someone take a picture of you, but you cannot call the latter the former. That’s wrong.

-You aren’t fooling anyone with the TBT’s where you’re all “how awkward is this!” when it’s quite clear that you’re actually showing us how cute/talented/tan you were – your humble brag: it is showing. I posted one of these myself the other week, but I balanced out the adorable one (adorable!) with the second (not so much). Plus, I am picking a wedgie in both. No one’s thinking “look at how cute/talented/tan she was!” In fact, they’re probably thinking, “bless her heart” or “Allie…no.” I win!

easter wedgie collage

Do you think #Instaffense is going to start trending?


-I realize this is more of a personal problem, but perhaps you can commiserate: doesn’t it seem that the people you’re actually curious about never post or like anything, and the people about whom you do not care are all up in your face? Why is that? Why?

-I do not appreciate people who post constant reminders that they are on vacation, knowing that I am sitting on the 18th floor of an office building in Midtown Manhattan where yesterday it rained a month’s worth of rain. This applies to both Insta and FB. And Snapchat. Another personal problem, perhaps, but something I’d like everyone to keep in mind.

-These days I use Facebook more for news than personal stuff, and I like it when people post links to articles or things on the internet they like. Assuming you and I have the same interests, I’d be okay with more of that kind of activity.

I don’t think I’m asking for much here – just be less annoying and more smart when it comes to what you do and share.

And now, my life in pictures:

SPRING!! Foliage! Filters!

SPRING!! Foliage! Filters!

you can’t make this up.

you can't make this stuff up.

*and that’s a grande nonfat Chai Latte – don’t act like you weren’t wondering.

well, this is upsetting. also, wrong.

upsetting. also, wrong.

how to dress in NYC when it just rained for 2 days and is 700% humidity #elevatordoorselfie

photo 2

should I start a fashion blog..?

I apologize for the extended absence, but I’ve been busy working, playing, and I just wrapped up my Spring Wedding Tour 2k14. Congrats to two of the best and your respective marriages, ABE V and Pal – two great people, two great weddings.

Hey, have y’all been to Bermuda? I’d like to go, maybe in July…I’ll keep you posted.

Today is the first of May (insert Justin Timberlake “It’s gonna be May” picture here) which means I am half-dead due to allergies. I sound like a sick frog and my eyes are red and swollen in the manner of someone who is high on pot. It’s hotness all around here on the 18th floor in Midtown Manhattan – total hotness. TGIT! (?)

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

People I Want to Punch in the Face

Posted by AllieB on August 16, 2012

Want: unlike the rest of the free world, I enjoy physically writing down my to-do lists as opposed to keeping track of tasks electronically. My reasons are twofold: first, it’s still way more satisfying to cross things off manually then check a little box on my Wunderlist app, and, second, I am continually amazed at how horrible my handwriting is, and it entertains me to see it degenerate with each passing day. A nice bonus of the latter is that sometimes I cannot read items on my list, therefore I cannot fault myself when they do not get done. Admittedly, a con is people getting a hold of these lists…but I found these highly personalizeable agenda/to-do books online, and I must purchase:


May Books – choose from like a zillion patterns/colors/monograms – you can even choose what’s on the inside, you can even choose a “Bump Book” wherein you can paste pictures of your sonogram. I am fine with this because maybe if you are putting your sonogram in your Bump Book, you are not putting it on Facebook. Okay, retract…..I’m going to talk about this – I really don’t want to offend anyone, so please read carefully: I enjoy seeing/tracking baby progress of people I know and love; unfortunately I have, like, 2000 friends on Facebook (humble brag!) therefore am learning a LOT more information about people I vaguely knew in 2005 than I’d really prefer. However, isn’t it my fault for not tidying up my friend list? I’m sure the girl I sold ads with at the Red and Black has lots of friends who have a vested interest in her trimesters; it just isn’t me. But instead of berating her for daring to keep her loved ones informed, maybe it is beholden to me to take action. Facebook has become a highly public information-sharing arena – few people really understand the privacy settings, and I’m guessing many don’t even realize just how much info they’re actually putting out there. If you’re that offended, quit. There, I addressed the baby/Facebook issue. May it never be mentioned again. The people bitching are becoming just as obnoxious as the people about whom they are bitching. Besides, you do realize you can choose who does/doesn’t appear in your mini-feed…if you don’t want to see the stuff, simply remove the culprit. Or block them. No, blocking is stupid – just take a second and change your filters. Truly, it’s not rocket science.

And I thought I was just talking about monogrammed to-do lists?? That kind of went awry…

Moving along! I am getting very VERY excited about my imminent move to New York. Even watching the tourists in matching, ill-fitting, way-too-tight-around-the-neck orange t-shirts go bananas in the plaza of Studio 1-A in Rockefeller Center on the Today Show gets me excited. I might even do that one day. Who knows?! As Sister has pointed out, I think I’m really going to enjoy to anonymity of NYC…just me and my horrible sense of direction wandering around the city…which reminds me, I’m definitely going to need another phone charger to carry around on my person so I am never without gps and/or enough battery life to call Sister and leave her phone messages of me sneezing. I have a really loud sneeze.

Case in point: page two of notes from my meeting earlier this week with Emily about w.port…we were planning her grand opening event.

Don’t worry, Emily, I’ve got the invites under control. Seriously, I can read this just fine – I blurred the pic on purpose…you know, for effect.

BTW – I don’t really have a list of people I want to punch in the face. That’s a bit aggressive…I keep track of that stuff right up here {slow tap to my temple topper} – as if I’d be foolish enough to write names down.

PS – speaking of the R&B, I trust y’all saw that horrific column, “How to find that perfect husband in college” – I’ll tell you who won’t be guest-blogging on BBT: that girl. Vom to tha max. I wonder if she wrote that nonsense on purpose, going so over the top as to put herself on the map…if so, kudos, especially since she’s not even that good of a writer. BURN.

Thirsty Thursdizzle!

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , | 9 Comments »

He’s like a conversational wizard

Posted by AllieB on June 14, 2011

I have no intention of commenting on this subject habitually, so just this one thing and then I’m done. I promise. And I know that promise is legit because my ADHD does not allow for two hours of television viewing (unless it’s a Sunday), and, let’s face it: these people have absolutely nothing in common with William and Kate.

The Bachelorette. What the crap, it’s even worse than usual. Ashley and her suitors have already taken their product international, and the scenery is about the only thing worth watching. Instead of excruciating dialogue and nonstop lameness, I expect they would do a lot better with ratings/feedback if they just did a montage of the Thailand landscape with a final snapshot at the end that shows who got a rose. Bentley, one contestant who proved he hates women and is totally batsh*t bonkers, was pretty interesting last week – sadly, it did make for good TV, but he belongs on Dr. Phil or Dr. Drew – NOT the Bachelorette. Soundbites from the episode:

“I mean that just sounds terrible,” Bentley told the camera. “I would literally rather be swimming in pee than planning a wedding with her, because I’m not thinking, ‘Oh my gosh this is the girl of my dreams.’ I’m thinking she’s not my type.”

“Wow, that was kind of boring,” he said after their kiss. “It started out good, but it sucked toward the end. I’d be lying to everyone if I was like ‘I’m in this to the end. I’m gonna ride this out for two months.’ There is no way I’m gonna last that long.”

Was that really necessary. Considerate and classy – I think we’ve found the next Bachelor?? What a dreamboat. In the scenes for next week (I didn’t watch the whole episode, I just had it on in the background and I found myself paying attention sometimes, is all) it seems that Bentley travels to Thailand and wants to talk to Ashley. Ashley, for the record, earns zero sympathy points because she’s so annoying and….OK I have to stop, this is becoming word vomit. No mas.

In addition to my little sista’s bday it is also: Flag Day – I do love the stars & bars – and Yasmine Bleeth’s birthday. Whatever happened to Yasmine?

Aaaand here’s Tex’s Tacos schedule for the week. OH YEAH! Thanks to their awesome food, friendly service, and internet-savvy fans, Tex’s WON Best Food Truck in ATL! Y’all are the heat – check them out over on Howell Mill tonight.

LIKE BBT ON FACEBOOK! May I direct you to the upper right-hand corner of your page, where you will see brand new Facebook/Twitter badges…prettaaaay nice, no? After I get paid this week, I will figure out some sort of prize for a fan…

BOLO for mas info.

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Double Deuce

Posted by AllieB on June 14, 2011

The Baxter Fam is certainly getting some prime real estate on BBT this week…

JBax a.k.a Baxter Bark Thrice is 22 years old today!! She is one of the coolest people I know whilst simultaneously being among the most mature and competent. She’s got her shiz together – one day, I hope to be just like her. Jordan is known for photographing poorly from the ages 8 – 12, as well as being the University of Richmond’s 2010 Homecoming Queen. I used to be really, really mean to her, but now we’re besties. She loves baby seals and pandas, and King Julian from the Madagascar movies is her (and my) favorite. She is an excellent baker of delicious treats, and I want most of her wardrobe, which is why I actually have most of her wardrobe at my home (I will return…sorry about that). Happy birthday to my favorite sister!!!*

I really love this picture; Jordan and me on her 7th bday…so sisterly. To be honest, this sweetness is not how we’re typically photographed…

This is more like it.


*Per my promise….today you are my favorite – you each get a day

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 7 Comments »

Shameful Post

Posted by AllieB on November 2, 2010

In the past, when I’ve surveyed others as to what sort of material they might want to read about on my little blog here, people always say I should write about shameful Facebook posts, of which there are a plethora. I’m not going to go on a tirade of things I hate on Facebook, but I do like to make fun of people who do stupid things on Facebook.

The sad thing is – sometimes people are innocent victims of their insolent friends. See below. The origin of this escapes me – I think Pal shared it last summer…? I don’t really know, but I’ve protected names and faces. (Although I will assert that I did not know, nor did I have a single friend in common with, any of the people involved.)

Commentator #1 needs a refresher in Social Niceties: What Not to Say to a Recently Separated Person, Particularly on a Viral Platform Such as Facebook. Commentator #3 did the right thing in calling him out. However, and maybe this is just my preference to avoid potentially awk situations, I would have inquired of a close, trustworthy mutual friend as to what happened, and then sent an email – NOT an FB message – offering my condolences or whatever was appropriate in this scenario.

Either way, Commentator #1: you’re fired.

I know I have more shameful material than this archived in my color-coded labels. BOLO for Shameful Post, Vol II.

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »