Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Archive for April, 2011

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Do as I say, never as I do

Posted by AllieB on April 20, 2011

I wish I could say, “disclaimer: the following story didn’t actually happen” or something, but I cannot. I swear I’m not a total social retard – like, I know I’m not – but when I fail, I do so spectacularly.

Cut to: Saturday at Kramers. I was sitting casually at the bar, as I did for entirely too long that day, and I found myself without anyone to talk to. Since I am comfortable sharing this detail, it is obvious that I am not a loser, I just am by myself sometimes. . . anyway, there I was, sitting, and I thought, hey – why not meet someone new. So I turned to the gentleman sitting a few seats down from me, assessed the situation, and tried to think of something to say.

Me: Did you know your beer is frozen?

Him: <stares at the obviously frozen beer, then back at me> Yeah, I actually did notice that.

Me: I hate it when that happens…did you, uh, bring it from home?

Him: <with a look that could only be described as pity, swivels on stool, conversation terminated>

No. He did not bring his frozen beer from home, Allie, YOU IDIOT.

I’m going to change the subject.

Last night I made a really delicious omelette – how the H do you spell omlette?!? Anyway, I sauteed some green peppers, onions, and shrooms, poured in my egg whites, added some mozz cheese and a liberal douse of Tabasco and voilà!

Admittedly, this is not a photo of my meal – mine was slightly less photogenic. Things went awry when Missy Baxter tried to eat the homemade chocolate chip cookie dough I’d just made, and I had to leave my egg-based creation unattended over open flame…whatevs, it still tasted great, and I had a grapefruit to go with it. Bon appétit, indeed.

Speaking of Français, my parents stayed here last night. I’m stuck wrassling over cookie dough with the dog while they’re sipping champagne in Champagne.

:|

Lastly, Grindhouse Killer Burgers opened a new outpost yesterday, conveniently located on Piedmont in Morningside, complete with liquor license and patio, not to mention their famously awesome burgers. BP & Pantalones – we can hit that up for Friday lunch.

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , , | 8 Comments »

Yeah…I’m kind of over it.

Posted by AllieB on April 19, 2011

Newsflash: I love all things Kate Middleton. And I really think she would love all things Allie Baxter, if I hypnotized her or tricked her in some way given the chance. I think it’s our uncanny similarities: our path to royalty, our ability to stay poised and collected in the face of turmoil, our impeccable appearance…truly, the list goes on. I cannot wait to see what her dress looks like, and I know the wedding itself will be glorious, but, that said….I am kind of over everyone else’s obsession.

Really, Papa John’s? (The Hairpin)

People are saying that her wedding will be the most watched event ever, in the history of television, and I realize you’d have to be a real dunce to not want to score in on the cash cow that is a Royal Wedding, but it’s become less fun for me, somehow. Ok, wait, I actually just did the research to back my previous statement, and they are expecting TWO BILLION people to tune in. This, plus the 400 million who will watch via other media (online, etc.) will account for over a quarter of the world’s population. Needless to say, the mind reels.

I dunno, I’m just a little bored, is all. I could only make it through half of the Lifetime movie last night, and I am kind of sick of the “speculating” about honeymoon destinations and what her dress looks like. Chill out, peeps, we’ll know when we know. Kate has already told me, telepathically, but I clearly won’t divulge.

I am ever devoted to Princess Kate, and I will absolutely be one of the two billion watching next Friday morning, but I’m going rogue til then – unless you have a fridge wrapping or similar to send me, I’m out.

In other celeb-crazy news: Tim Riggins Beer Popsicles – Tim Rigginsicles. Tina, shall we make some this weekend – some poolside refreshments, perhaps? They give you step-by-step instructions, so it’ll be super easy….

My level of kiddingness is neg.

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , , | 8 Comments »

Tex’s Tacos: yes, please

Posted by AllieB on April 18, 2011

While they claim they’re not “reinventing the wheel,” Mac Helms and Harrison Jones, owners/chefs of the brand new Tex’s Tacos, have somehow managed to offer a new spin on standard Tex-Mex cuisine – “Nueva Texicana” – and they nailed it. With a “home base” located in the heart of Buckhead next to our nearest and dearest, Kramerica Industries, they are also taking their product mobile – today, for instance, the truck is at the Prominence Building in Buckhead from 11:45 – 2:00.

Tex’s has only been open for a weekend, but the food was superb as was the service. I obviously plan to try everything on the menu, but so far I especially recommend the following:

  • Carne Asada taco – perfectly seasoned and cooked beef with grilled onions, cilantro, guac and queso fresco
  • Al Pastor quesadilla with pork. The Al Pastor is unlike anything I’ve ever had: slow-roasted pork marinated in chillies and pineapple topped with onions, pineapple, fresh cilantro and queso fresco. The cheese was melted to gooey perfection wherein it was more of a glue for the ingredients than an extra ingredient itself. It was seriously awesome.
  • Chips, salsa, and guac: the chips are the amazing kind like Rio Bravo used to have – paper thin and super fresh. (I am seriously having a hard time letting go of Rio Bravo even though it’s been closed for over a decade…maybe Tex’s can help???)

parked outside home base in Buckhead

Mac and Harrison worked on the recipes for months and have pretty much got it figured out… I’m waiting on those cheese fries, fellas. They will frequently offer late night fare on the weekends from their store front (which is great – there is definitely a noted lack of such spots in Buckhead), yet their food is light and fresh enough to seek out for a mid-week lunch. Follow them on Twitter to find out truck locations. Everything is $5 or under AND they accept cash and credit cards.

BBT says: you’re doing yourself a disservice if you don’t go to here.

Between these guys and Yumbii, I may never have Taco Bell again…

Posted in Food & Drink, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

That’s Enough Advice, Bark Twice

Posted by AllieB on April 14, 2011

For my third advice column, I’m doing actual questions asked by actual people…ish. I liberally paraphrased the following questions from multiple convos with multiple people, but I can do that because I call the shots around here.

Dear BBT,

I want to meet new boys – where/how can I do that?

-Single and Ready to Mingle

Dear Never Refer to Yourself as “Ready to Mingle” Again,

Service projects! Philanthropic social events! match.com! Irby Avenue!

I really have no idea. But what I do know is this: leave :| at home – no one wants to talk to Flat Face.

Dear BBT,

My friend is such a drama queen and I really don’t think I can take it anymore. I don’t want her to think I don’t care, but I also don’t think I can handle another second of her bitching and moaning. Thoughts?

-End of My Rope

Dear Join the Club,

Take it easy, JtC – being dramatic about another’s drama helps no one…I think lots of times people just go thru phases where they have their head so far up their own ass that they don’t know up from down. Maybe take a little breather – go invisi on gchat, hang out with a different group of friends for the weekend…sometimes space is the best medicine.

This is not good advice – space is the best medicine?? I really don’t know what to say…YOU’RE a drama queen.

Maybe I’m not as good at the wisdom imparting as I thought. I think I’ll stop now.

It’s just as well, anyway, because Zirkle #3 shared with me an amazing blog that is equal parts fascinating and terrifying – not only in subject matter, but also re: the domepiece of its creator. There’s obscure…and then there’s morphing famous celebs with Steve Buscemi’s eyes.

Anne Hathaway + Steve Buscemi's eyes = nightmares 4 life

I am repulsed, yet I can’t look away. There are so many awesomely horrible ones…Heidi is a favorite,  and the Kardashians…here – have a gander: Chicks with Steve Buscemeyes.

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Boundaries 101

Posted by AllieB on April 13, 2011

YES!!! J Simps is talking in public again. She’s one of People’s Most Beautiful People for 2011, and, in the grand tradition of throwing herself under the bus whenever a potentially positive situation presents itself, she offered this sound bite in her interview:

Being well-endowed since sixth grade, the blonde bombshell points out that “there’s no way to hide them as much as you want to bandage your boobs down.” Simpson, 30, has since learned to embrace her chest as her “best accessory,” telling PEOPLE, “Now I can make my way in and out of parking tickets: Show the girls and give a wink!”

We get it: you have big boobs. This is not brand new information and now is certainly not the time to draw attention to the fact… Yes, you are attractive and I’m sure people in Middle America find you endearing, but your marketable appeal is more that you run a billion dollar fashion company that basically prints money. So…please stop talking about “the girls.” Really. Just stop.

This week’s Do Not Want features a completely creepy new trend called the “Cuddle Party.”

A Cuddle Party is: A structured, safe workshop on boundaries, communication, intimacy and affection. A drug and alcohol-free way to meet fascinating people in a relaxing environment….this playful, fun workshop has been a place for people to rediscover non-sexual touch and affection…a great networking event to meet new friends, roommates, business partners and significant others.

How unpleasant. I’m sure Cuddle Party Rule #1 is meant to assuage my discomfort, but WHY ARE THEY IN THEIR PAJAMAS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

  1. Pajamas stay on the whole time.

Let’s play Would You Rather: would you rather attend a Cuddle Party for five minutes, or drink a cocktail of three-day-old chili and dip spit. I would choose the latter twice, perhaps thrice, over a CP. I really think I would.

Sister gets credit for Cuddle Party (you would), and I read about the chili/spit concoction in the WSJ a few weeks ago – this jokester Livian Hernandez is a catcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks, and sipping on sludge is the least of his shenanigans. He once ate 11 bananas in four minutes. Shenanigans, I tell you!

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

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