I woke up upside down in my bed this morning. That’s the first time I’ve ever done that…is that weird? I’m somewhat perplexed.

The sexting in this country has really gotten out of hand. First of all, if your last name is Weiner…well if your last name is Weiner and you’re a dude AND you’re an elected official often in the public eye, you should assume that if/when you decide to send an explicit photo of yourself, you will get caught. That’s just how that works. The Average Joe/Josephine might not be at such great risk for national exploitation, but it’s still good to exercise caution. If you insist upon getting freakay with your phone and sending X-rated pics via text, here are some tips:

– Use the “sepia” setting on your digital camera. If someone leaks the photos, you can say, “What? Don’t be crazy. These photos were clearly taken in the past.”

– Instead of a photo, send a scanned PDF of an erotic drawing of yourself…As an added security precaution, don’t be famous, work for the government, be an ordained religious leader, or ask a Kinko’s employee to scan the your drawing.

for more ideas like these: Safe Sexting

Or, you know, just don’t do it. Wisdom: imparted.

Did you know that the symbol of Atlanta is the Phoenix? I did not know this until yesterday – I was at the Atlanta History Center learning about Atlanta through the years, and the informational video mentioned it. How Hogwarts-y of us. I think it’s relative to the fact that Atlanta kept burning down but would always make a comeback, rising from the ashes even better than before. I guess we’re pretty scrappy, but I already knew that. It does, however, make me wonder what brainiac came up with Izzy as Atlanta’s mascot for the 1996 Olympics – how  come no one worked the whole Phoenix angle? Izzy literally has a stream of stars coming out of its butt. It’s embarrassing.

I need an iphone. The green-eyed monster is taking over and I can’t even be happy for those who have recently acquired them, switching over from their crapass Blackberrys. Char, K – I can’t even fake enthusiasm, I have only the flattest of faces for you both. And, just when I thought I was coming to terms with my iphone-less existence, I found these Jonathan Adler covers on shopbop. Does Jonathan Adler make covers for Blackberrys? What do you think. If I were a bigger person I’d get you one for your birthday, K. Unfortunately for you, I am not.

Despite the heat, I cannot switch over from my beloved red vino to my once beloved Sauv Blanc. I mean, I can go for a nice spritzer during brunch (that was nice the other day, wasn’t it E & Buff? Nobilo is good stuff), but when I’m hanging around at night, I just can’t bring myself to sip on it. Instead, I’ve taken to chilling my reds. I was goog’ing some drinks that included cold red wine, and I found this NYTimes article which not only condones, but heralds the practice of chilling your red. It’s nice to be validated. (This could be a good alternative to chunking cubes of ice in your glass, Sis – classy though that looks…(I’ve definitely never done that before, and I certainly didn’t do it just last night.))

I spy something….AWESOME. I like you every day, Leila, but on the days my VF comes, I like you a LOT. Talk about a gift that keeps on giving…

If you need me I’ll be on the couch with my chilled Pinot.