Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Archive for March, 2011

Pucker up for Flavor Flav

Posted by AllieB on March 16, 2011

Today is Flavor Flav’s birthday (he’s 52?!), and also Lips Appreciation Day. Per the oh-so-trustworthy internet source, holidaypedia.com:

You’ve spent a fortune on your teeth and now it’s time to do something good for your lips. And today’s the day. And lets not forget kissing is always a great way to celebrate your lips!

Er, awk. And none of that matters anyway because the most important thing about today, March 16, is that it is my favorite* sister’s birthday!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHAR!

Charlotte is the best big sis in the whole wide world because she always looks after me, we always have fun, we laugh a LOT, and we have the same arms. I hope you have the best day ever, Sistie!

*Jordan, when it is your birthday you can be my favorite.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 8 Comments »

A lesson in dysfunctionality

Posted by AllieB on March 14, 2011

There’s fashion forward, and then there are pant boots (henceforth to be known as Poots).  In the same vein of the Teva Stiletto, Paris fashion house Hermès has created a hybrid of two things that need not be conjoined. Just like I do not wish to wear a stiletto sandal with the look and feel of a Teva, I think I’ll pass on pants made of leather with a high heeled platform boot attached the bottom.

from: style.com

For me, that I might ever don an article of clothing (well, clothing + footwear) whose name is a synonym to the word fart is a non-option. I bet that leather is really soft though…I guess, if it came to it and I absolutely had to have some Poots, it would be nice to have my rear end, legs, and feet ensconced in Poots by Hermès. Thanks, Mom, for leaving the WSJ article on my place mat – you are right; it did interest me.

Speaking of dysfunctional, the finale of the Bachelor is tonight. Neato. There’ve been what – 15 seasons of this show, 21 counting The Bachelorette, and ONE successful, longterm marriage? From where I’m sitting, it seems that the odds – they aren’t good. The whole premise of this show is just weird and contrived and abnormal, not to mention rife with infidelity…just sayin – it’s all pretty questionable. I’ll be watching last night’s episode of Shameless.

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , | 5 Comments »

My hair is glorious enough for the both of us

Posted by AllieB on March 11, 2011

I tend to devote my Fridays to Kate Middleton. That’s not weird at all; it is actually 100% normal. My friend, Hadley P, is the best resource for my Kate 411, and she really outdid herself this time. This is a brilliant blog (I even talk like Kate does – we both say “brilliant”): it takes photogs of Kate – candids, poses, what have you – and then writes captions that are funny.

Hilar. I think I’ll do that with pictures of people I know.

OK…now this is a fun game…

 

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , , , | 9 Comments »

D is for Dunce

Posted by AllieB on March 10, 2011

The following humans are clearly very special, and I’d like to acknowledge their specialness by awarding them Dunce Hats.

Meet Timothy Chapek. Timothy needed to take a shower, so he broke into someone’s house. Hilary McKenzie, owner of said home, had the gall to enter whilst Timothy was self-cleaning, causing him to panic. Tapping into his meager cache of brain cells, Timothy did the only thing he could think to do (source: NYDaily News):

“I just broke into a house and the owner came home,” Chapek told the 911 operator, in a call obtained by The Smoking Gun. “I think they have guns.”

“You broke into a house?” asked the confused operator.

“Why are you in my house taking a shower?” homeowner Hilary McKenzie can be heard asking in the background. “Who are you?”

“My name is Timothy Chapek,” Chapek told her sheepishly.

“I broke in…I already called them,” he added, when McKenzie threatened to call the police. “They’re on the phone right now.”

When people who know Timothy hear about this, they’ll probably shake their heads with disdain and mutter, “damn fool can’t even burgle a house right…” At least that’s what I would say, if I knew Timothy.

Next, I shall revisit the gold mine of fail that is girls track. I’ve shared with you before a video of girls track going awry*, and this gem is no less sensational.

from: lolsnaps.com

I don’t even understand how that happened, but I’m glad it did.

Holy crap that is awesome.

*Sidebar: I just watched that YouTube and it’s amazing – here’s the link again, you don’t need sound. I have it embedded so it starts at the perfect time…DO IT DAMMIT. Ok bye.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

Camel, I think your back is broken

Posted by AllieB on March 9, 2011

This is the last straw. Blackberry’s are not very cool – the key pad is annoying, the flash on the camera is legitimately blinding, and, most of all, it is more functional than it is fun and awesome. What do I need function for when Google has created this ingenious new app for iPhones and Android. I LOVE GOOGLE. Sorry I’m not sorry BBM buddies, this train is sailing as soon as I can afford the flat price of a Verizon iPhone without any contract signing bonuses or upgrade discounts – this means to say…anytime within the next 1 – 8 months.

Meet & Greet: Google Goggles –

Do you see?? This is fantastic! Translate those pesky Lebanese menus, search by sight, log your wines, recognize art without having to ask/check the artist…this is like the ultimate app. Obviously I don’t know anything about anything when it comes to iPhones, and I’m sure there are already apps like this – but Google Goggles still thrills me. It’s just good thinking, is what it is. Click here to enjoy your own interactive perusal. (Credit: PAL)

Plus, then I can start submitting hilarious typos to that damnyouautocorrect website.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »